Readers bite back on bullying

from the Seattle Times

Last week’s story on workplace bullies (“Down, Office Bully!”) generated lots of responses online — mostly from people who say they’ve been victimized by an office tormentor. While their stories are varied, the reactions are uniformly intense. This is, it turns out, is a special brand of job stress.

“I worked for a local nonprofit health-care organization. My boss, the CEO, was a bully and a textbook narcissist. He was convinced of his superiority and had an overbearing belief in his leadership qualities. But he could not distinguish between true leadership — which calls for maturity, trust and integrity — and bullying, which is impulsive, aggressive and manipulative. He made my life hell for many months until I quit under considerable duress. I consulted an attorney but learned that there was no law about working for a jerk!”

— Maggie, Seattle

“I don’t think it is insecurity that drives these types of people. I think they have deep personality defects. Read some books on sociopaths and narcissistic personality disorders. You will relate the treatment you have received to the examples of the behaviors given, and learn how to deal with these types of people.

“They usually pick on the weak, those that they are envious of, and they enjoy making life for others hell. They are usually methodical in who they pick on. They create fear around them, and it works to their advantage. We normal types do not understand their behaviors because we are incapable of them. When normal people fight back together as a group, they usually don’t get away with it.”

— Anonymous, Seattle

“I worked in a skilled nursing facility a few years ago where I had a bully for a boss. She made up lies about me, gossiped about me behind my back, excluded me from work-related conversations. … She even berated me in front of other employees and health professionals. The more I tried to stand up for myself, the meaner she got.

“She made something up about me that wasn’t true, and I was fired. The company disputed my right to unemployment benefits, but when we went to court, everything came out in the open. The judge actually caught my boss and her superior in a lie. Their stories and their paperwork didn’t match up, and neither of them could come up with another lie fast enough to cover it up.

“I was, of course, awarded my benefits, and it helped reassure me that I really was a competent employee and a good person. A bully boss can really wear you down, and it’s not worth it to stick around.”

— Kdawseattle, Seattle

“I have learned a good lesson. If your boss starts out by demeaning you, nitpicking and faultfinding, it will only get worse. You are better off leaving as soon as possible instead of trying to stick it out. Go to another company where you’re appreciated.”

— Sad But Wiser, Mill Creek