Coping with an Office Bully

By Catherine Mattice, NoWorkplaceBullies.com

You are not alone if you are feeling bullied at work. A 2007 study by Zogby International and the Workplace Bully Institute indicated over 54 million Americans have been bullied at work, or 37% of the American work force.

Bullying is repeated and prolonged negative acts aimed at one or more individual. It includes behaviors such as social isolation, purposeful lack of communication, spreading rumors or gossiping, condescending or patronizing behaviors, excessive criticism, yelling, micromanagement, arbitrary changing of tasks, punitive or seemingly irrational punishment, depriving responsibility, and intimidation.

Unfortunately, bullying causes tremendous psychological harm to victims, and even observers who do not necessarily feel targeted by the bully. Victims and observers feel distress, humiliation, anger, anxiety, embarrassment, discouragement, feelings of inadequacy, hopelessness, depression, burnout, lower job satisfaction, lack of support from colleagues, eroded attachment to the job and organization, and greater intention to leave. In fact 27% of victims quit, according to a 1997 study published in the Journal of Community & Applied Social Psychology.

So how do you cope with a workplace bully?

Start with positive thinking.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent,” and she’s right. Tell yourself each and every morning before work, and throughout the workday, that you are terrific, and better than being treated that way by someone else. Faith in yourself to overcome this situation increases through repeated affirmation, just like going to church increases your faith in your religion.

Use assertive body language.
Standing with your head down or not looking bullies directly in the eye will give them the message you are ready to take another beating. Reduce your chances of being targeted by keeping your head held high and your shoulders back, leaning forward slightly when you speak, looking the bully directly in the eye during interactions, and using powerful words such as “we”, “power”, “results”, and “cut”. These unambiguous power words send the message that you are not one to be messed with.

Imagine yourself dealing with the bully effectively.
Use cognitive modification, a trick often used in overcoming fears of public speaking by consistent imagining of the delivery of a well-received speech. Envision an interaction with the bully that includes your assertive body language. Imagine yourself talking with confidence and competence. Doing this will provide you with the courage and preparation to follow through with it.

Continue to do your job, and do it well.
The workplace bully is out to get you, that much is made clear by his or her behavior, so do not give him or her the information being sought to “take you down” so to speak. That’s right, we are talking about the ol’ adage, CYA, or “cover-your-a**”. As hard as it might be at times to continue to be that darn good employee you know you are, keep your productivity high and your work quality at 100%. Then if your situation is brought before management or Human Resources, you are sure the bully does not have any ammunition to use against you.

Report the issue to Human Resources.
If you choose this option, be sure to first tell the bully that his or her behavior is unacceptable (just like a sexual harassment case would require). Keep a factual journal of behaviors, dates, times, and names of observers. Create a file and keep any memos, emails and other tangible things you receive from the bully in writing. Tell your story to HR with a beginning, middle and end; focus on the bully and his or her behaviors, not yourself; and provide very specific details. Ultimately if the situation does not resolve, do not be afraid to quit to save your dignity.