AU: Put bullies out of work

By Rebecca Wilson, Herald Sun

Until recently, I had little experience of the so-called workplace bully.

The only bosses who had come close to bullying me in my career were the gnarly and grumpy newspaper editors who drank too much at lunchtime, sacked you, and reinstated you – sheepishly – the next morning.

They gave you a laugh because you knew that deep down (quite deep in some cases), they really did like young journalists and enjoyed the nurturing process as much as we realised it was a rite of passage to go through it.

After more than 30 years working full-time, I’ve learned to stand up for myself and take no genuine malice from anyone with whom I work.

Workplace bullying, for many of us, is something we see satirised in Fawlty Towers or The Office. It is thankfully not something we witness or endure each and every day of our working lives.

In recent months, however, I’ve witnessed first hand the disintegration of a colleague’s self-esteem at the hands of someone who must surely fit the description of a bully.

I won’t reveal which one of my work places where this unravelling has occurred. Nor can I provide real names. For the purposes of this column, we shall call my colleague Emily and her manager, Caroline.

Emily is an experienced staff member who has spent nearly 15 years in the media industry. She is a loving wife and mother of two who works long hours to pay the mortgage.

As long as I have known her, she has always been pleasant, well-mannered and good at her job.

When Caroline entered the office earlier this year, Emily had no reason to believe anything would change. She had already worked for several other managers who had moved on of their own accord and never had a problem with any of them. I had not heard her exchange an angry word with anyone.

Nine months on, Emily is an emotional wreck who cries all the way to work. Her confidence has been quietly, but deliberately, eroded to the point that she wants to quit. She hasn’t because she refuses to allow Caroline’s behaviour defeat her.

But the changes are evident and sad. Emily covers her nerves with meaningless small talk. She has lost her motivation. This once-focused and calm woman has been replaced by a nervous wreck.

Caroline is a clever manager and good at her job when she’s not “in a mood”. She is always good humoured around her bosses and gives absolutely no impression that she is anyone who harbours a grudge.

She rarely raises her voice. When she is angry, she seethes quietly for hours, only letting those who work under her feel her wrath.

She has tried several times to quietly abuse me and other staff not directly within her charge, but when she sees she has no power or that we can answer back, she is forced to back down.

Emily and several junior staff members are not so lucky. Over a period of months, Caroline has told Emily her work is not up to scratch, that she is often wrong. Most of it is unsaid – it’s the silent treatment or angry pout when she believes Emily has done wrong.

Caroline writes every single small error down and takes them to her boss, who believes she is the best in the business. She is the schoolyard snitch who always has the jump on those not wily enough to try the same tactics.

Emily started keeping a diary. When she woke crying in the night, her husband told her to write everything down. The diary is thick and full of incidents of nastiness no human being should be made to endure.

This is not a personality clash. Other juniors have seen the smile upwards and you-know-what downwards behaviour of Caroline.

But she was hired by the boss’s boss and they both steadfastly refuse to budge on the big boss’s opinion of her.

Even through a mediation session, conducted by the office manager, no satisfactory conclusion was reached.

Emily was just told she had to learn to “get on” with Caroline.

Bullies in offices are always in senior positions where they manage to get away with bad behaviour for years before anyone more senior is willing to admit a mistake.

The good work they do is more than enough to make up for the misery they can inflict on others.

Caroline is a workplace darling-of-sorts who only turns on a 10c piece when those senior managers are not looking. Sadly for Emily and the person who replaces her, the behaviour is endemic and will not change unless she is caught in the act.

Emily has courageously decided to use that diary and take Caroline to the Equal Opportunities Tribunal.

It is only a matter of time before Emily either walks out of her own accord or is fired at the hands of Caroline. This gutsy woman says, however, that she won’t sit back and watch another employee go through the same insidious treatment she has endured for months.

She wants it on Caroline’s employment record before she feels justice is done.

Davis Brent’s character in The Office struck a chord with many of us because we saw something of Brent in most of our managers or colleagues. He made us laugh, but the sad part is that the real-life Brent types are not funny.

Like abusive relationships at home, workplace bullies erode an employee’s well-being and self confidence. They approach it with intelligence and planning, so they’re hard to catch.

The US has stringent anti-bullying laws for every workplace. Litigation is rife against those who decide to defy the rules. Until the same workplace laws apply here, Emily’s story will be one told around the country.

Emily and those like her have the right to enjoy coming to work in the morning without fear or tears.